Marriage ...

I will be getting married in August 2009 ... I am very much looking forward to it ...

Being an Indian means that the concept of an arranged marriage or the fact that girls get married by 25 and boys by 30 is not really alien to me. The concept of love marriages and the whole falling in love thing was in fact more alien for me till I was 18 years old. It was then that I realized that being in love is being utterly and totally comfortable in someones presence - either talking or just being silent. And I also realized that me being me, most people find it hard to adjust with me and expecting a girl that my parents choose to adjust with me will be tough.

I told my parents after I got a job that I want them to leave the decision of marriage to me. Coming from a 22 year old guy who just got his job, it did seem strange to them. And this year when I finally found the right person and told them, they just said OK. That was quick and easy.

And now I am getting married next year.

Over the last few years I have been working in London for my projects. I feel comfortable socializing here with my colleagues, and in my interactions I have come to realize and accept the fact that marriage is not the end goal that people are looking at when they get into a relationship. People can have 3 or 4 kids and still not be married - they are committed but not married.I am not shocked by this,but the reverse does not hold. I tell people I am getting married next year and the say "What?" - well they don't say it but the expression is the same. It feels kind of odd to them that at 26 I am getting married and looking forward to it.

I have just one answer to that - " thats the only way to some things in India!".

Agreed the generation has moved on and nowadays young people in India do get into relationships - physical as well - before marriage, but that is still a very small number. And for these guys and those who are more strict in their upbringing, the ultimate aim is still to settle down in a marriage. I cant just walk up to my folks and say - " I like this girl, I am moving in with her, and lets see how it goes" - I would like to but I wont, I cannot, it just is not "my way".

Ah well, some day in the future I might see my kids say this to me, but hey thats many many years away ... right now ... I spent a hell of an effort trying to convince my girl's parents, and am looking forward to August 2009!